How to Ask a Girl Out

Interesting Ways to Ask a Girl Out

So you’ve decided to finally ask that girl out you’ve had your own on for a while, but you have no idea how to ask a girl out.

Follow the steps below and you’ll put yourself in the best position for getting a date with that hottie on the periphery of your life. There’s no sure thing in dating, but you can do things to help yourself when you try to get the big date.

Have a Plan

Actually have a plan for the date. Don’t simply ask her “want to go out some time?” or “want to go out next weekend?”. Have an idea of where you want to go, when you want to go and what you want to do on the date. Consider a backup plan or two, in case she doesn’t like the activity you have planned or she isn’t free when you want to go on the date.

This does several things for you. One, it makes it look like you have a social life and you simply want to include her in it. Two, you’re telling her you want to spend time with her, but you aren’t ONLY telling her you want to spend time with her. Three, it gives her a graceful out if she wants to let you down easy (can’t do it that day, don’t enjoy that activity, etc).

Prepare for a No

Along that train of thought, expect she’ll say yes, but be prepared for a “no”.

Being prepared for a “no” means you take it in good grace and don’t sull up when she shoots you down: as they say, you “take it like a man”. You might think that’s not important, but it’s actually incredibly important. You’re presumably still trying to impress this girl and acting like your whole world was just crushed isn’t going to be very impressive.

Once again, pouting or acting distracted does several things, none of them good for you. One, it makes the moment more awkward than it already is. It’s torturous for you, but don’t make it torturous for her, or she won’t want to hang out with you anymore. Two, if you act casually about a no, you’re showing her that you’re not a loser and you have other options – whether you feel like a loser or not.

Suppose she really does have other plans or doesn’t like to do what you asked about her. Suppose she’s not sure if she wants to hang out with you or not. Showing her it’s no big deal demonstrates you have a social life and you’re confident someone else will go with you – maybe another girl. It’s always nice to have options. If you don’t really have options, it’s never a bad thing if the women in your life at least think you have options. Don’t lie about your social life, but don’t act like you’re pathetic, either. Pathetic never wins a girl’s heart.

The Mechanics of the Ask-Out

Okay, now that we’ve discussed the big general picture, let’s focus on the mechanics of asking a girl out. You’re going to want to get this right, so we’ll go over this step by step. Once again, approaching this with as much calm and confidence as possible is the best idea. Being casual about the whole thing shows both of those traits, so be as casual as you can be.

Friendly Conversation

Talk to her as you would a friend, without saying anything inappropriate, insulting or uncomfortable. If that’s how you normally talk to your friends, that can be a problem. Make some small talk. Share a joke. Just be friendly.

Do this several times before you approach the date subject, if you feel the need.

Don’t be afraid to give her a compliment. The less cliched the compliment, the better. Show her respect, but don’t be afraid to show a little bit of admiration – but just a little bit. Don’t fawn over her.

In other words, treat her like a person. This girl is just like you. She might be pretty; you might think she’s out of your league; that’s no reason to pretend she’s out of your league.

Be Specific

Ask her specific questions. Get to know her. When she responds, try to pick up on her responses and continue to talk about her. Try not to always bring the conversation back to your and your thoughts and interests, but explore her thoughts and interests.

People tend to like talking about themselves. They tend to like people who seem genuinely interested in learning about them. If you convince them to open up just a little bit, they are going to come away from that conversation thinking the two of you made a connection. Whatever she says, keep it in confidence.

Read Her Body Language

You can usually pick up a few things about body language. Notice if her body is turned towards you when she talks, or she is turned the other way. Notice if she looks at you a lot. When she is looking at you, do her eyes dart around your face, or simply staring into your eyes. (Actually, darting around is better, since she’s tracing the outline of your face, studying your features. That means she thinks you’re cute.) Is she looking at friends or other people a lot? (That’s bad, since she’s probably looking for a way to get out of the conversation.)

Does she touch her face or hair? Does she touch her lips? Does she brush you on the arm or shoulder? All of these things are good things.

Try to take stock in all the body language signs and mannerisms. Don’t take any one as the Gospel. You’ll probably get mixed signals, so go with the way the majority of signs point. If most of these are pointing towards attraction, that’s a good sing.

Ask Her Out

Get around to the question. Ask her if she wants to hang out with you at _____. Be specific, whether it’s a concert, club, bar, sporting event, movie, play, comedy club or whatever. Have something specific you want to do. If you want to ease into it, there’s nothing wrong with “hanging out” or “tag along” or something like that. Casual is a good thing.

If she says no, reply with something like, “Maybe some other time, then.” Give a shrug and keep a poker face. Do not freaking look glum, disappointed, sad, angry or whatever emotion you’re feeling. That’s what you do when your mother doesn’t give you what you want. It works on your mother, but not on girls. She might feel sorry for you and be your friend, but you won’t come off as the mysterious, worldly guy she wants to date.

Finally, get her contact information. Once you do this, find a time shortly afterward to gracefully exit. There’s not much positive you can say or do after you get a yes, so end the conversation with her wanting more.

Verify Later

Sometime between asking her out and the actual day of the date, call to confirm. Once again, verify time and details of the date. This gives you an out without standing you up, lets you avoid being stood up and maintains a sense of contact.

Once again, get off the phone quickly. Leave her wanting more. There’s nothing you can say or do on the telephone that’s going to make her want you more. Be cool and casual whenever you see her before the date. Be friendly, like you were before, but don’t loom over her.

That’s pretty much how to ask a girl out. Rememer, if this one doesn’t work out, there are plenty of nice, pretty girls out there who will smell nice and act nice and find you attractive. Don’t stress out if she says no, because it happens to the best of us.

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