How to Ruin a Relationship
1. Tell your partner how to act.
A relationship should not be a platform for instruction. Remember the Golden Rule.
2. Act like your partner’s child.
Your partner is not your banker, butler, or crisis counselor.
3. Act like your partner’s parent.
You should not play any of the above roles for your partner, either.
4. Attack your partner rather than attacking the problem.
This is akin to “love the sinner, hate the sin” — except in this case, the sinner spends every waking moment with you.
5. Place blame on your partner.
To maintain a loving relationship, blame words should be avoided, as should words like “You” and “Me” — instead, use “We”.
6. Talk before you know what you’re talking about.
This is an arrogant tactic used by some people to control others. Don’t do this to your lover.
7. Act hysterical.
Your lover is the one person in the world who understands how you feel — there’s no need to blow up at them.
8. Be hostile.
If you’re feeling the urge to be hostile to your partner, consider putting some distance between the two of you.
9. Use accusative words and abusive behavior.
We all know what abusive behavior is — don’t do it. Avoid using accusing words and avoid the abuse to begin with.
10. Treat your partner as a possession.
Your lover is not something you own or have claims to. Your lover is a privilege — treat them that way.
11. Avoid eye contact while your partner is talking to you.
If you want to convince someone that you don’t care about them, simply don’t look at them when they address you. Works every time.
12. Interrupt frequently while your partner is talking.
There’s an old saying — “Listen and silent have the same letters.” You have to have your mouth closed for your ears to be open.
13. Criticize your partner in public.
Never criticize your lover, but especially never do it in front of people. That is the best way to belittle a person.
14. Ignore personal hygiene.
No one wants to lie in bed next to a smelly lover. Take care of your body as well as you want your lover to.
15. Take your stress out on your partner.
There are plenty of healthy ways of dealing with stress — taking things out on your partner is not a healthy one.
16. Ignore you and your partner’s boundaries.
How can your lover know about your boundaries if you don’t let them be known? Also, pay attention to your lover’s personal boundaries.
17. Expect your partner to be a mind reader.
If you want your relationship to fail right away, say nothing to your partner about your personal life and expect them to know it by osmosis.
18. Lie to your partner.
Even if the truth hurts, share it with your partner. Every time. This includes little white lies as well as big ones.
19. Have an affair.
Breaking your partner’s ultimate trust — the faith that you won’t stray to another lover — is one of the fastest ways to cause a relationship to fail.
20. Discourage your partner from having any hobbies, outside interests, or friends.
This is the ultimate in control and even abuse. Your partner is an individual and you should celebrate your differences, not get rid of them.