Signs That It’s Over
It’s hard knowing when to get out. Maybe your partner is putting crazy demands on the relationship and you’re having trouble deciding to leave. Or maybe you think your lover wants out, but is stringing you along for some unknown reason.
These are two different situations. If your partner is giving you signals that he or she wants out, you have to take these serious. Accept that it’s over or take the steps necessary to get your partner back.
This should be obvious, but it isn’t sometimes when you’re in that situation. If your partner tells you it’s over, then it’s over. If your significant other has a new partner or stops returning your calls, then you need to face the obvious facts and realize the relationship is over.
Less obvious, if your man forgets your birthday, that’s a bad sign. If your woman replaces your pictures around her bedroom, that’s a really bad sign. If these kind of signals start to multiply and you start to feel neglected, it’s probably time to move on.
As for knowing when to get out of a relationship when your “other” seems ready to stay in, here are several warning signs that you need to end it.
1. I Get No Respect
Mutual respect is the foundation of any relationship. If you aren’t being respected, then the relationship has to change. You probably need to end the relationship altogether, because something that basic isn’t likely to change.
If your partner is abusive to you, that is the ultimate sign of disrespect. There are other sides, too. If you’re being lied to or cheated on, then you aren’t being respected. You can try to repair the relationship by talking things over with a liar or cheating. But don’t fool youself.
The relationship is over.
2. Passive Aggressive
There are other ways to disrespect a person without abuse or cheating. If your partner makes promises and doesn’t keep them, there’s something wrong with the relationship. If the person is constantly late to pick you up or come in from a night out on the town, this person is exhibiting hostility to you and your relationship. You need to talk to your partner about changing this behavior, or you need to get out.
3. A One-Sided Proposition
Do you put a lot into the relationship, but your partner seems to put nothing into it? That’s a sign that the person isn’t committed to you or the relationship. If you’re getting nothing out of the arrangement, there really is no reason to stay around.
You boyfriend or girlfriend might be extremely demanding on you or your time. This person might boss you around or never want you to leave their company. This is intolerable and unsustainable over the long term. It needs to be addressed, or you need to find a better relationship.
Your partner might be excessively flirtatious, but jealous when you look at someone else. You have to have a two-sided, give-and-take understanding.
4. Pleasant Company Excluded
If it’s more of a relief to be apart than be together, that’s a bad sign. The reason you’re in the affair is because you enjoyed the time spend in the company of one another. If it’s a labor to be around each other anymore, then there really is no reason to stay in.
5. A Little Appreciation Helps
Your partner needs to let you feel appreciated. If everything you do is a mistake or a drawback on the relationship, this is no good for you. The overcritical partner not only brings the romance down, but he or she begins to undermine your self-esteem. This is often their purpose, taking their insecurity over the relationship and project it onto you. If you are insecure, in their mind, then you are more likely to stay in the relationship.
Don’t fall into this trap. If your partner doesn’t appreciate you, you can find someone who will.
6. Visualize the Future
Ask yourself where the relationship is headed. Does your partner wear you out? Is being in the relationship putting stress on you or seem like it’s unhealthy?
If your partner is too possessive or jealous of you, this puts tremendous strain on the relationship. If your partner gets emotional over the simplest thing or obsesses over your every move, that’s not healthy. I call this a high maintenance relationship. A few people seem to thrive in these situations. For the rest of us, we’ve got to get out of these things. If your partner is obsessively jealous, overpossessive or hysterical, you need to get out the relationship and find a healthier one.
For more information about how to know when a relationship is over, see: