Advice for Getting Your Wife Back
A divorce can be a painful and ugly affair. It can cause turmoil in kids, split up property, and cause bitter resentment. But, through one reason or another, what if you come to realize that a divorce was just a terrible mistake? What if you decide that you want to get your wife back after a divorce? It happens all the time to all kinds of people. The actor Richard Burton was one of many who married and divorced Elizabeth Taylor. But Burton ended up marrying her again.
Despite the trauma of a divorce, time can heal wounds and hindsight can give you a different perspective. A divorce does not mean that you no longer love one another. It means that you didn’t work out your problems the first time. So it is not uncommon to want to get back together with your ex-wife. Yet getting back with your ex-wife for the second time is not easy and will take a lot of convincing. So how to do it? The first thing is to analyze what caused you and your wife to get a divorce in the first place.
Reasons for Divorce
The reasons for a couple getting a divorce are wide and varied. It is not always any one person’s fault. Many times it is a combination of factors that go unchecked until the situation just gets out of hand.
One of the main reasons for a divorce is that you and your wife no longer get along. It may be that the two of you have changed over time, as people can do, or that each of you has some annoying habits that you are not willing to change. In any case, this inability to get along has led to fights which have further driven the two of you apart.
Another top reason for divorce is finding someone new. Being with the same person for so long can get dull (if you let it). Maybe either you or your wife found someone else and jeopardized the marriage to pursue that relationship. You have to consider why you or she needed to find someone else. You probably fell into the rut called “daily life” failed to keep that interest in each other.
A core reason for problems that lead to divorce is not taking time to spend with one another. Basically, the two of you don’t go out on a date anymore. Maybe work has taken over your life and you have become obsessive about your own needs instead of hers. It could be the busy schedule of the kids, financial problems, being gone on business trips all the time, or something similar.
Whatever the reasons for your divorce, if you still want your wife back, you have to figure out what those reasons are and how to fix them. Below are some steps to help you get your wife back after a divorce.
Steps to Get Your Ex-Wife Back
One of the most important ways to win back your ex-wife is to show her that you can accept responsibility for the problems that led to the divorce. This is a bit tricky and can involve a little swallowing of the pride. You may feel as if you didn’t do anything wrong to cause the divorce. You may feel that she made plenty of mistakes of her own. Even though it may be obvious to you that your separation was not entirely your fault, you have to remember that you are making an effort to get your wife back. This means that you may be required to take some of that blame that was not completely yours. The best way to do this is to tell her how you feel without placing blame on anyone or pointing fingers. No one likes to be told that they are wrong. If your wife is not convinced or if she starts to place the blame on you, then go ahead and admit to all the things that you did wrong that led to the divorce. This is your chance to be honest about it and take that blame to show her that you understand and are willing to make the effort to change things and give it a second chance.
Another step to getting back with your ex-wife is to make a clean start. This means that if you really want to be with your wife again, then you need to truly forgive her for whatever was said or done that caused the divorce. If you are still harboring any anger about any issues, you need to let them go. Plus, you should ask your wife for forgiveness for all the things that you have done. Forgiveness for past wrongs can be extremely hard to do. Being hurt by someone you love is very painful and it is natural to want to hurt them back in retaliation. But if you can put the past behind you and wipe the slate clean, it will give you a fresh start in your relationship. Be the first one to forgive and ask for forgiveness. This is important because it will show her your willingness to start over and, even if things are not the same, at least they can be different than they were before the divorce.
Try to do the things that caused your wife to fall in love with you in the first place. All too often a marriage becomes stagnant. You no longer give each other attention and that feeling you get from a new relationship has worn off. Although it can be awkward after a divorce, try getting together with her again. If you use to bring her flowers or open doors for her, then do those things again. Show her that you are still the same man that she fell in love with.
If you are serious about getting back together with your wife after a divorce, then you need to start focusing on your wife’s positive traits. Being negative about all the things they did before is one of the factors of the divorce. Maybe you griped about her habits or reprimanded her for all the things you thought she did wrong. You are going to have to change that about yourself. Many times we correct others because they do not do things the exact way we would do them. If or when your ex-wife gives you a second chance, you are going to need to view things in a more positive and accepting way. Learn to realize that it is okay if she does something differently than you. Otherwise, you will be bringing the same problems back into the relationship as before and the pattern will be starting over. Accepting the things that normally bug you is hard; very, very hard. To keep your motivation high, you will have to monitor your reactions at first and temper them. If you can come to realize and accept the negative traits about your ex-wife, thus causing fewer arguments, then you will find the relationship to be an easier one.