Tips for Being Popular
Trying to be popular when you aren’t at the top of the social ladder in your social scene is full of pitfalls.
If you get slapped down by the people you live around, your attempt to be popular might make your worse off than you were before.
When studying how to be popular, understand that this is a going to be a slow, transforming process that might not seem natural at first. There are a set of skills that most popular people display, though, that makes them charismatic. While you might not have natural charisma, a person can become more attractive and engaging with a little practice. Here’s how to learn the skills that are going to make you more popular.
I’m going to say this right off: you know I’m right. Some people are popular because they’re physically attractive. Good-looking people naturally attract people’s notice and attention. Often, they attract that person’s admiration. Sometimes, an attractive person doesn’t even have to be smart, nice, outgoing or funny. It’s called animal magnetism.
Most of us aren’t in this category, so you probably think you can’t take a lesson from this factor. Actually, you can.
No matter what you look like, look your best.
Be as attractive as you can be. Dress as sharply as you can. Wear clean clothes. Get an attractive haircut. Smell nice by wearing deodorant, wearing perform or cologne and having fresh breath. Work out enough to keep in shape and, if you’re out of shape, work out enough to gain energy and confidence.
The point being, you might not be able to be the hottie everyone is attracted to, but you can control one thing: you can always look your best.
If you aren’t drop-dead attractive, you have to find other ways to get noticed. Be willing to get out of the comfort zone. Engage with people. When you are engaging, you don’t have to rely on people noticing you. You get noticed.
Engaging people involves being willing to make conversation, throw out a jooke and flirt with the opposite sex. Interact with people. Sure, being shy and introspective has its advantages, too, but if you want to be popular, you’re probably not going to do that being too shy to engage people.
You want to be on good terms with people. To do that, you have to be willing to meet people and make an impression. This might require taking a few chances, particularly the chance that you’re rejected. You might feel uncomfortable at first, if it’s not your natural inclination. But once you conquer your shyness, you’ll become more comfortable meeting new people and getting out of your normal comfort zone.
You would be amazed at what simply being friendly does for your attractiveness and ability to make friends. Stay on friendly terms with people, if it’s realistic. Be friendly with parents, teachers and janitors at your school. Be friendly to kids and to old people alike.
Get in the habit of making friends. Show that you are willing to be friendly. If nothing else, you’ll be able to practive your conversation skills with all these people you’re meeting.
Learn the gift of gab. Learn how to make small talk. Be polite. Politeness reflects on you, not the person you’re being polite to. Don’t interrupt. Don’t make people feel uncomfortable. Don’t boast and make up lies.
In other words, don’t be annoying, but be friendly. Once you learn to talk to a wide range of people and be casual about it, you’ll start to be noticed for it. People will start to figure out that you like people and people like you.
Stop Being Selfish
When I say “selfish”, I’m not talking about greed. I’m talking about the person who thinks only of themselves. I’m talking about the person who is so wrapped up in his or her life and their own problems, that they can’t take time to relate with other people. I’m talking about having and showing a little empathy.
Empathy is the ability to imagine another person’s problems and feel for that person. An empathic person doesn’t wait for a person to stop talking, just so they can talk about their problems. An empathic person listens to a person and relates to what that person is saying. They worrying about making that person feel better, not burdening them with their own selfish concerns.
Assume you’ll get your turn, but not right now. If someone is trying to relate to your something that’s troubling them, don’t start whining about your troubles. That’s being selfish.
Listen to people. Listening doesn’t mean only hearing, but hearing and understanding. Learning how to listen will make you a more popular person, because most people don’t have that ability.
Learn How to Laugh
Learn how to laugh, not at people, but with people. Laughing is one of the ways how you become popular.
Learn how to laugh at yourself – just not too much. That is, if you’re going to be sarcastic and wry, try to make yourself the butt of jokes, and not someone else. But self-deprecating humor can be taken too far, if people naturally start to believe you’re laughable.
Find ways to relate to people with a shared joke. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Don’t take the world too seriously. If you can make a joke that includes everyone around you and make them laugh, you’ll be the life of the party.
Here’s where practice becomes so important, because you aren’t going to be popular until you can be yourself. But if “yourself” isn’t an attractive personality, “being yourself” isn’t going to work.
Work on everything above, but do it in your own individual way. There are all kinds of popular people in the world, though most of them embody the qualities I’m spelling out here. It’s how you embody these qualities in your own special way that makes you unique.
Once you can be yourself and still succeed at being engaging, friendly and unselfish, you’ll start to gain popularity.
Be at Ease
Don’t try too hard to do all these things. Most popular people handle themselves with a natural self-ease that makes them “cool”. If you try too hard to be popular, you’re going to come across as a fake.
One of the key ways a person becomes well-liked is by putting people at ease. When a person makes other people around them comfortable, those people want to be around that person. So learn how to carry yourself with ease. People will sense if you aren’t really comfortable.
Confidence is an amazing quality to have. When humans see a confident person, most of them assume the person has a reason to be confident.
I’ve seen this so many times in my life. A person with natural confidence can be the biggest goof in the world and still win friends and influence people. You might meet someone else with all kinds of talent and attractive qualities, but someone who lacks confidence, and that person goes relatively unnoticed.
Of course, I’m not suggesting you become a con artist who is all bluff and bluster, and no substance. The best way to gain confidence is to have your act together.
Let me reiterate, skill comes with practice. It’s the same with schoolwork or sports. It’s the same with the artist in front of a painting, the farmer out in the field and the surgeon in the operating room. Why shouldn’t that be the same with social interaction?
The more you practice the social skills and how to be popular, the better, more at ease and more confident you’ll become. Eventually, you’ll be popular.